


Carpediem : If only saying I love you was easy

by Mishkinss



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Developing Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:34:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23380996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mishkinss/pseuds/Mishkinss
Summary: Kim Junmyeon had loved Oh Sehun for 10 years. Now , they were at a tipping point in their relationship.Would Junmyeon own up to his feelings or would he again surrender and do what was right ?
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Kim Junmyeon | Suho, Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Oh Sehun
Comments: 6
Kudos: 50





	Carpediem : If only saying I love you was easy

**Author's Note:**

> My first work about SeHo on AO3. I’m still learning about tags and the format. 
> 
> So please excuse the initials blunders. 
> 
> Love  
> Mish

"Where is Sehun?" asked Suho as he entered their dorm and saw Jongin sprawled on the sofa eating chicken and watching a reality show on TV.  
" He stepped out some 15 minutes ago." Jongin replied not tearing his eyes from the TV.

He stepped out ? They were supposed to go and eat dinner tonight. Suho went into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and pulled out his phone to call Sehun.

" Are you calling Sehun?" Baekhyun asked as he closely monitored his ramyeon not wanting to overcook it. 

" Don't bother calling him. He won't pick your call." Baekhyun informed Suho.

" Why on earth not ? I rushed back from my live because we had to eat dinner together and now I get to know that he has stepped out. Where on earth has he gone?" Suho asked fuming as he called Sehun again. 

" To have dinner with Seung-gi hyung." Chanyeol answered as he entered the kitchen wearing his Nike sweat pants and an oversized black tshirt.

" what the hell? We were supposed to have dinner together." He looked at Baekhyun and Chanyeol exasperated. Sehun sure knew how to test his patience.

" He got ready to have dinner with you but then he watched your twitter live. He then called Seung-gi Hyung and made plans to meet up with him." Chanyeol said toying with Suho.

His live ? What the hell happened when he was busy with his live?  
He just gave a confused look to the duo not understanding the flow of the conversation.

Baekhyun decided to put him out of his misery. Suho could be super clueless at at times.  
" You called him a brat almost and swore at him infront of a live tuned in audience." Baekhyun said as he poured ramyeon in two bowls and handed one to Chanyeol.

Then it hit him. There was a question about how different was it promoting in a group and promoting solo and he had mentioned that in a group it was difficult to get everyone on the same page and then he mentioned Sehun's name. It was just a slip of tongue. Him mentioning Sehun was a habit. He didn't even recall saying his name. 

" But....." Suho said

" We know. You didn't even know that you took his name. Taking his name is a habit for you. But the past few months whenever you take his name , it is essentially to complain about him. He let go a few times but he was irate today. So, I'd suggest let him be tonight. Speak to him tomorrow." Baekhyun said as he put his hand on Suho's shoulder and the two of them stepped out of the kitchen leaving Suho with his confused thoughts.

Had he really been picking on Sehun ? Agreed , he had been under a lot of stress because of his debut album but it had never crossed his mind that he let his subconscious stress out in a way of nagging the youngest. Ofcourse ! Sehun was vociferous when it came to putting his views but then it was a privilege he had earned over the years. He could negate each and every one of the members and get away unscathed. Sehun was outright blatantly honest when it came to Suho because Suho let him be. Sehun took all the liberties when it came to him and honestly it made him happy. He could publicly deny it all he wanted but he knew that Sehun had a special place in his heart. The members knew it to ! His reasoning and logic went for a toss whenever it was anything pertaining to Sehun. 

Like when Chanyeol and Sehun had gone to perform in Vietnam and he had heard about the deluge of fans at the airport, he had called Sehun even when he was in middle of his musical and speaking o the phone was prohibited . He had once canceled the entire red carpet appears because Sehun had not been feeling well and Suho wanted to stay back and look after his maknae. He always pressed the panic button when it came to Sehun. 

A habit that couldn't be helped! Jongdae and Minseok were well aware of his habit and helped him tone down. With Minseok now in Military and Jongdae enjoying his hiatus , he felt lost. 

Suho picked out his phone and flopped on his bed.

" Jongdae ....", he muttered in the phone.  
" I was expecting your call may be half an hour later. Done arguing and fighting with Sehun?", Jongdae asked.

Suho sighed," No , we haven't had the screaming match. He left before I got home." 

" Did you speak to him on the phone?", Jongdae asked

" I called him a few times but he chose to not receive me calls.", Suho spoke tired on the phone," I feel at times we don't really understand each other."

Suho and Sehun for the last decade had the most peculiar relationship. They were like two brothers, two best friends, two lovers, two enemies , two acquaintances or just two people in a relationship with no name. 

" Hyung, you know that's not true. If there is one person who understands Sehun is it you and if there is one person who Sehun trusts to be completely honest with it is you."

" I know. It is just that the last few months I feel that we have drifted apart. Whenever we talk it either results in an argument or one person just ignores the other." Suho said as he kicked his shoes.

" And have you ever thought why is that?" 

Suho thought about it and said," I don't know. It just seems he is more than happy to hangout with Chanyeol and Baekhyun these days. "  
Jongdae smiled to himself. Suho was so jealous. 

" Hyung, have you told Sehun that it bothers you?" 

" It doesn't bother me. I'm just stating a fact." Suho said defensively

"That , there is your problem. Both of you do not communicate these days. Speak to him Hyung. Please hyung."

" Thanks Jongdae. I will." Suho said softly as he hung up and changed his clothes. 

He thought about ordering something to eat but with his heart and head on turmoil he couldn't get himself to order anything. He would speak to Sehun tonight. He had to speak to Sehun tonight. 

Suho had been sitting in the living room not wanting to miss Sehun entering their dorm. They had been shoving issues under the carpet for a long time and it was going to stop tonight.

He must have fallen asleep when he heard some keys jingling and saw Sehun enter the house. He looked at the clock and saw it was 1:30am

"Sehunnie....", Suho softly called out the younger's name as he stumbled across the hall.

Sehun halted in his tracks and turned to look at Suho. 

" Why are you calling me that?" He slurred as he eyed Suho.

Sehun was drunk. Drink Sehun was bad news. He was volatile and completely unpredictable.  
When Suho didn't say anything he heard Sehun say," Shouldn't you be calling me a brat? Oh! But wait you prefer having an audience when you call me that. Tell everyone what a bad person I am." 

Sehun stopped and stared at Suho. Sehun's eyes turned glassy. Damn you, Junmeyon! Sehun was hurt. 

" Sehun! Let's calm down. You know I didn't mean it." Suho said calmly trying to reign in Sehun's temper. He walked towards Sehun and held his arm.

" Let's get you to your room first. You can say all that you want to me there. Ok?" Suho reasoned with him. 

" I don't need your help. I can manage on my own. Don't you touch me." Sehun said as he freed his arm from Suho's hold. He started his walk towards his room when he hit his right knee against the edge of the table and yelped in pain. 

" That's enough Oh Sehun. You want to be a brat , be one but I'm going to get you to your room first." Suho said with a finality in his voice as he held Sehun's arm tightly and ignored the protests. 

Sehun entered his room and sat down on the bed," Now leave. You deposited me to my room. You have fulfilled your duty as a leader and now you can get lost." Sehun seethed.

" Sehun , there is only so much discount I can give your drunken state. Watch your words." Suho said with a edge to his voice. How was he supposed to speak to Sehun when he behaved like this?

" Why should I be the only one to watch my words? Why the hell aren't you answerable to anyone? And why is it only me always ?" Sehun said angrily as he wiped a tear that rolled down his eye.

Suho went and kneeled infront of Sehun. " Because you the first person I think of when someone asks me anything. I can't help it." Suho told his honestly. 

" Baekhyun hyung and Chanyeol hyung are brattier than me. Jongin never comes on time. But still you always take my name." Sehun said not understanding what Suho said earlier. 

Suho took Sehun's hands in his hands. Junmyeon was a complicated man. He had been a trainee for 5 years and had been an idol for almost a decade. Even his closest friends couldn't decipher him yet when it came to Oh Sehun , his feelings were crystal clear. Sehun was , is and will always be a priority. 

Today maybe because Sehun was drunk and Suho was emotionally spent , he could voice out his feelings. For once he wanted to take liberty of being honest and speaking what his heart held.

" Because infront of you no one matters. Whenever I'm asked something the only face that comes to my mind is yours. Whenever I'm asked to form an answer , I form it keeping you in my mind. You are centre of my world. No matter how hard I try , I can't help taking your name, Oh Sehun." Suho said looking into Sehun's eyes. 

" You don't behave like I'm the centre of your world. More like I'm some extra and you would kick me out if you could." Sehun said pouting.

Suho smiled. Oh Sehun had no idea how fucking adorable he was. He was this kid in a man's body. His pout could shake Suho's world. 

" What do you think will happen to my world if I throw you out Sehun? I just told you, you are right in the centre." Suho smiled at Sehun, explaining it to as he would explain a 7 year old.

" Will it collapse?" Sehun asked his eyebrows arching and still pouting. 

" It will not collapse, it will cease to exist. That's how important you are Oh Sehun." Suho said as he stood on his knees and pressed his forehead to his. 

" You are important to me too , hyung." Sehun said in his dazed state trying to make sense of what Suho was saying," Extremely important hyung." 

He looked in to Suho's eyes and gently placed a kiss on his lips. What if they weren't in spotlight ? What if they weren't idols? Would he have confessed to Sehun then? 

Suho took Sehun's face in hands," I wonder what would we do if we met at some other time , in some other place as some other people?"  
Kim Junmyeon had made peace with the fact that EXO's maknae was his source of existence. 

" I would still love you hyung." Sehun whispered to Suho with a smile on his face as he sank lower on his bed and went to sleep.

Suho started at his Sleeping form. He knew Sehun was fond of him but he never knew he loved him. Oh Sehun was too pure a soul to know what a confession in real world would do. 

He tucked him in bed and bent lower to kiss his forehead ," And I love you too. Yesterday , today and tomorrow."

He took a last look at his sleeping form before he switched off the light and closed Sehun's room.

" You know it would be much easier if you said all this to him when he is sober and sane." Suho heard Baekhyun speak from the other side of the corridor.

Suho looked at Baekhyun," It is not easy you know."

" What is not easy ? Tell me. You love him. We all know that. Hell, even the support staff knows it. Today you learnt he loves you too. Do you realise what that means?" Baekhyun was stumped. 

" I know. I love him and I have known that for a decade and I know he loves me. What do you want me to do with that information? Should I ask SM to send out a press release tomorrow? You of all the people know how it works. We are idols." Suho asked angrily. 

" I'm not talking about telling the world. I'm talking about you being honest with Sehun. He deserves honesty of all the people", Baekhyun reasoned with his leader. He knew how Suho liked being in control and he knew Suho's love for Sehun spiralled his world out of control. It was a leap of faith that his leader has to take !

" I don't want him to weave dreams of being together. It is not possible. I can't promise his the stars and then let him fall to the ground. I can't do that to him." Suho said brokenly.

" Hyung, you are again overthinking. Trust me, the people who matter the most to you will be ecstatic. You are perfect for one another. You fit each other perfectly. What you have with him , it is not easy to find. You have no idea how lucky you are." Baekhyun said as he sat down next to his hyung. 

" What if I can't live up to his expectations and what if we can't live up to everyone's expectations?" Suho said voicing his fears.

" Sehun loves you and he has loved you for a long time. When you have known a person for over 10 years , you have seen the best and the worst of each other. Regarding others, EXO's Suho and maknae Sehun have never disappointed anyone and I doubt you will in the future." Baekhyun said lightly tapping Suho's knees. Suho needed the reassurance and Baekhyun wanted the two important people in his life to be happy. Happy in love !

" I have worked really hard to be where I'm today. I have seen people succeed before me but that never broke me , it only made me stronger , made me want to work harder. I had always dreamt of this lifestyle , this glamour, this adulation. But everytime I see Sehun hurt or broken , I want to give this all up and hide him somewhere. For him , I could give this up  
in a heartbeat and you know what it doesn't scare me." Suho said staring at one of EXO's picture hung on the wall. 

" Hyung, who knows what we have stored in future for us? Hell ! You never know we might become irrelevant in the next 3 years and never had a song top the charts ever again. All , I'm saying is don't let the fear of future ruin what you can have today." He said trying to make his leader understand. Baekhyun knew making decisions based on future always made you fall flat. He had done that once and till date he repented it.

" Hyung , we always talk about personal happiness. How we must strive hard to achieve it. This is your happiness hyung. Sehun is a lot stronger than we give him credit for. Once you let him know that you are sure about your feelings, he won't waver." Baekhyun reasoned with him. Suho was engrossed in his thoughts. Members were his family. His extended family !

" All seven of you will be ok if we decide to give this a shot ?" Suho asked tentatively. He knew what it meant for the other members of the news got out.

" If you decide to give it a shot today , Yixing hyung and DO will win the bet. If you wait for 3 more weeks then Chanyeol will win the bet." Baekhyun laughed.

" As long as you don't make out in front of us , we are fine. We have been fine with you making puppy eyes at Sehun for a decade and I'm sure all of us can now tolerate both of you making puppy eyes at each other." He reasoned with his hyung and smiled.

Suho laughed at him. Maybe , he could let his dream be a reality. He had dreamt spending his last afternoons with Sehun doing nothing. He had dreamt of watching an art movie with Sehun and hearing his grumble about his choice of movie. May be he could !!

Baekhyun saw Suho smiling as he thought about something.

" Hyung, continue to think what you are thinking. Do what makes you happy. Yes, you are an idol but before that you are a human that deserves to love the person he wants to love." Saying this Baekhyun bid his leader good night and went to his room hoping that tomorrow would be a new chapter in Sehun and Suho's life.

Next morning, Sehun woke up with a hangover. He saw the hangover pill next to his bed and read the note. This was Suho. Last night's conversation played in his mind. He couldn't recall the exact details but he knew Suho had told him that he loved him. This time around Sehun wouldn't let Suho take these words back. They had been on this road multiple times and he was tired of this back and forth tug of emotions. He was going to get Suho to admit he loved him. 

He popped the pill and went to the living room to see everyone seated lazily around the TV.

" Is that Suho hyung?" Sehun asked rubbing his eyes as he saw his leader dressed in a sweatshirt and a pair of denims. 

" Isn't that your sweatshirt Sehun?" Jongin asked with a smile on his lips.

" It is. But what is he doing on TV this early ?" Sehun asked as he sat down next to Jongin and put his head on his shoulders.

" He had a morning schedule to be on breakfast segment with MBC." Chanyeol said stifling a yawn.

" Why does he even do solo schedules? He is no fun." Sehun murmured all ready to be called a brat again. 

" No wonder he calls you a brat." Baekhyun said.

They all focused on the interview, keeping fingers crossed that Suho would stay clear of bad jokes.

" So , who is the laziest in EXO?"  
" Sehun. I won't say lazy but he is not a morning person."

"There we go again." Sehun mumbled. Suho really didn't know how to take any other name. 

" We have seen you always take Sehun's name. Roommate , bratty , lazy and all your answers are Sehun"

" I wonder myself. It is just that I always end up thinking about him when asked a question."

" what do the other members have to say about this? Don't they get upset?"

" Not really. They have had 10 years to get used to my behaviour." 

" Any last message for your fans and EXO members?"

" Thank you EXOLs for your love and support over the years. Even if I say thank you every second I live from here on , it won't be sufficient. To my EXO family, you are my best friends , my critics and my supporters. I love you and Sehun , I love you too!"  
Suho said the last line with all the honesty he could muster. 

Sehun was stumped. He stared at the screen for a few more seconds wondering if he heard correctly. He looked to his left and saw Baekhyun smiling. 

" I never thought , he would so smartly confess on national TV. This hyung is so unpredictable." Jongin said as he went to put his latte glass in the kitchen. 

" I can't believe I lost to Yixing and DO. Couldn't he have waited for 3 more weeks? He waited 10 fucking years to confess that he loves you. Couldn't he wait for 3 more weeks?" Chanyeol said irritated.

" Oh Sehun ! Kim Junmyeon has made his move. It is your turn." Baekhyun said as he sat across from Sehun.

Sehun took out his phone and texted Suho.  
I watched the morning show.

I was hoping you would watch it. Did you take the medicine ?

You said a lot of strange things. 

Strange things? How is the headache ?

Forget the damn headache. You said you love EXO members.

I said that I love you all.

???

I also said that I love you too! I love all the members but I'm in love with you. Hope that clears any doubts you have

Sehun stared at his phone. Sehun always knew Suho loved him but he knew Suho would never confess. This Suho was different. 

Sehunnie? 

I'm here. Was thinking something.

You don't have to say it. There is no pressure. 

Don't have to say it? Hyung, I have waited for 10 years to say this to you. I love you!

:) I'm off to the next schedule. I'll be back before 7. Let's have dinner today and don't be a brat. Stay and wait for me.

As long as you don't call me brat again , I'll stay and wait for you. Else , I got enough people to meet me for dinner and please try and be funny this time. I love you can save you only once in an interview.

Suho smiled. They would be alright.  
He spoke to the driver," Could you stop for a few minutes at the Cartier store before going to he channel ?"

He had selected the bands three years ago, hoping he would be buying them one day. He had thought of Sehun when he has seen the matching bands. He had wondered if he would be lucky enough to buy these bands one day and have Sehun wear it for a lifetime. 

And that day was today !


End file.
